As the world holds its breath for Apple's announcement from Coppertonia, CA, Tubba has a few predictions about what we might see. In the interest of full disclosure, I need to tell you that this morning at about 4:00 PST, Tubba consumed Steve Jobs and absorbed all of his brain powers. I am now a robut.1. Game-Changer
The most anticipated device of 2010 will no doubt acquiesce to my demands for a 'flocking' app that allows Tubba to track potential candidates for reality TV hit "Biggest Loser." Apple will tag and track any moving (or undulating) body over 350 pounds, and its proximity to condiment supply stores or Big Boy Restaurants (BBR and I have an agreement by which I refrain from consuming their CEO until 2013, and I use their salad bar to dress my meats). Sal really dropped the ball on that one.
2. Completely New Platform
To be successful where other netbooks have failed, Apple will need to provide a unique platform that truly bridges the utility of a laptop with the convenience of a smartphone. Tubba predicts that this new platform will provide a high ground from which Tubba can 'swoop' down on his prey, thereby endowing Tubba with the element of surprise. Bravo, Apple. Bravo.
3. Proximity Sensing Touch Screen
If you've ever seen the movie Highlander, which I co-wrote with Sir John C. Reilly, you no doubt observed the allegorical references to Tubba's life. Yes, there are rival tubbas laying in wait to consume me-- but Apple's new patent on the Proximity Sensing Touch Screen will allow Tubba to sense when rival tubbas are nearby, thwarting their attempts to consume me with Jackie Chanlike ninja skillz. Also my Host bought me bear mace.
4. And Jazz Hands...And Close.
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