Tubba's Sleepover Photo Update!

Tubba is pleased to report that the first annual Tubba/Helmut Frukgenserg-Hoch multi-national sleepover and pancake breakfast is going well. We've managed to find common ground! Tubba and Helmut both love figure skating. Tubba loves it for the bedazzled uniform body suits and Helmut loves it for the Nazi-like coaches, fueled by their own inadequacies, who secretly beat competitors when cameras are turned away.

Anyway, Tubba and Helmut wanted to provide a photo update for our night thus far. Enjoy.

First, Helmut cries a lot. Host #2 says to be nice to him because Helmut comes from an 'unreliable home life' and has a therapist. Helmut's therapist makes him draw his feelings... Gay.

I found this sketch in his nap-sack. Titled: 'Ethan, Tuesday Night'

And another, 'Boy, a Self Portrait'

Anyway, Helmut went on to tell Tubba all about his Dad:

And that his Dad was famous as the inventor of the Jean Jacket back in the 80s. That was until he got weird, then got really weird, and then pretended to be an LAPD Officer to cut through Burger King drive-thrus on foot.

After, Helmut was taken in by this man:

Prof. Herman Ali Onassis (no relation). That was until it was discovered Prof. Onassis was in fact a Soviet agent. That experience was later optioned by Warner Brothers and spun out into the classic TV show "Murphy Brown."

Just when Helmut was on the brink of spending Christmas alone, a Social Service officer located his Maternal Grandmother in Germany:

Frau Gruttenfutz Splindendockfick Hitler.

At this point in Helmut's story I was really, really bored. Really. And surprise, Helmut got weird. Expressing to me his deepest, darkest fears:

After I returned from frantically searching for my halloween clown mask to comfort Helmut, I was shocked to discover he was still fucking talking.

Thank God earlier in the day I had visited Bruce, my whacking salami supplier.

If anyone reads this, please send ammunition and whatever German's are allergic to.

King Tubba